Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Apple Sauce

Proof is in the pudding? What the fuck does that even mean? Actually proof is in the pie. Cross my heart and don’t hope to die. This needle is going nowhere near the region of her upper thigh. Apple pie; pumpkin pie; hair pie. Regardless of anything, I don`t want any pie. Noon hits. My crotch gets the fits. God damn. There goes that theory.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Seems as though becoming single and my wantingness to blog come hand in hand. Perhaps its because when I'm single I generally don't give a fuck. A shout out to all my Asian girls, let the lights dum sum. Drake. But in all seriousness, it would be way to hard to explain a raant to a woman you're porking. Especially if she is legitimatly crazy and irrational. It would be even more taxing than watching a Rom Com with that type of girl. You get some photoshopped gomer like Ryan Gosling doing all these creative romantic things and the wheels are just a churning. They compare every action and phrase in the movie to real life situations. If you are planning on using a movie as lube, skip the Rom Com's unless you want to wait until after the flick. The panties begin to dampen as the couple skips off into the sunset. One can liken my current situation to that of Andy Dufresne in Shawshank redemption. He was falsely accused, spent a siginficant amount of time in jail, where at times wasn't so bad, crawled through a bunch shit, but was in the end became a free man. Free to a certian extent. Just like Andy, I am not about to go galavanting around town excersicing being unshackled.